What I’ve learned from our long distance relationship




A lot of us, who ended up in a relationship with somebody from a different culture may have been through a long distance relationship for a shorter or longer period of time. 


You may be from a different country and met somewhere on your trip, vacation. Or you met online. 

I’ve been there!

In June, 2008, I met my husband in Milan, at the school where we were both studying. Right after graduation, Adam had to move back to the States. Well, we met two weeks before school ended, so there wasn’t much time for us to get to know each other. And I didn’t even speak English at that time. (I’m probably still not speaking it correctly. LOL) 

So after spending a couple of amazing days together, we had to say goodbye at the airport. It was horrible! And the weirdest thing was that we just met and already had such a strong connection. 


Our romance started in Milan, Italy

As soon as Adam arrived to the States we started our long distance relationship. It wasn’t a toooo long! Thank goodness! We were able to close the distance and get married 5 months later. Which is pretty soon compared to other couples who have been in a LDR for years. So I’m not going to complain, but for our perspective it was tough! 

We were in contact literally 24/7. With the 9 hours difference it was really hard to manage our time spent together, so we barely slept during those months. Honestly, I have no idea how we did it! I was up all night chatting with Adam (we used Skype messenger) than went to work the next morning. I was so sleepy all day, that I would fall asleep in front of the computer at least 3 times. Later I would go home, and by then Adam would wake up (which was really, really early for him) and we would chat until he had to go to work. And we did this for 5 months!

We made popcorn and watched movies together. We would send each other pictures, songs and slowly started to get to know each other. Our conversations were slow, but very fun and interesting. My English was horrible, so I went and got a book, and started learning the grammar. Adam and I would occasionally used some Italian (just because it was easier for me), but I had to mostly type in English. It’s funny that we never actually called each other. We wanted to keep it romantic.

I was happy!! For a long time I wanted a serious relationship, and I was happy to develop that with Adam. At first we weren’t a couple, we were just trying to see how long will this last, starting slowly with sending each other a few emails. A few weeks later I remember going to see Batman by myself in Milan. (It was Adam’s favorite movie, so I wanted to watch it.) Somebody there asked me; why did you go to the cinema by yourself?! I said: “Because my boyfriend is not here.” After I told this story to Adam, he said; “Well, do you want to be my girlfriend?”


Our long distance relationship struggles

2-3 months later we were still going strong. In the meantime, I went back to Hungary, to visit my family, and tell them about Adam. I was trying to figure out my life. About my future. Would I be able to commit to a long distance relationship? …It was challenging for both of us to figure out if this connection is even realistic. Back then we didn’t have much of a support. Facebook groups or communities with couples in the same situation were nowhere. 

Three months later Adam decided to come back and visit me. To see if we still like each other in person or is this just a fantasy we’ve created. Those 2 weeks with Adam was the best vacation of my life! 

We were so happy to be together and to be able to touch and talk in person. I think Adam even told me that my English got better. We were finally able to get some sleep! In the same time zone! After a long rest we traveled around Italy. I’ve also took him to Hungary so he can see my hometown and meet my family.


In the beginning of our vacation we said to each other “I love you” and by the end of those two weeks we were engaged!

Yep! Couple of days before Adam had to go back to the states, he proposed to me. (But that’s a story for another day.)

After the amazing trip, we found ourselves at the airport crying again. But this time we knew for sure that we will be together again. Just didn’t know when and how.

Sure enough, I got very lucky! On November, 2008 American opened up their borders for Hungarian citizens to visit the States. So 2 months later I packed my whole life in two suitcases and moved to Kennewick, Washington, where Adam lived at that time. I arrived in Seattle on November 17th, 2008! Click here to listen my immigration story!


Wow! Those few months apart from each other means nothing now that we have been married and living together for over 11 years! But back then, time was moving soooo sloooow!

So that is my LD story…


Here are my 3 tips I’ve learned through this long distance relationship journey:

1, Communication is the fundamental base for all relationships, but it’s something you need to focus on more, if the two of you speak different languages. ( Especially if one of you doesn’t speak the primary language that good.) It can cause a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding. So just make that a priority. Which is pretty easy, considering that talking with one another is all you have in a LDR. LOL

2, If it’s meant to be, it will happen! Try not to stress too much about “what if?”, or “is this worth it?”. Time will tell. I was lucky to be in the beginning of my carrier, freshly out of school. So that was a perfect time for me to move, and start my life somewhere else. Nothing and nobody was holding me back.

3, Don’t get too illusional! Looking back, I think I had so many dreams and fantasies about Adam and I that just wasn’t realty. By listening to romantic songs and seeing pictures of this guy or girl you are falling in love with can make your brain create an imagination that may not be realistic. Make sure you fall in love with the person, not the idea or excitement of something new and unknown!


Are you in a long distance relationship?

Grab these 10 LDR Wallpaper Quotes I’ve created for you. Looks great on the phone background and lock screen.

And remember! No matter how long you have to wait, or how far you two are from each other, it’s all worth it at the end!

Download these free wallpapers to shine up your days and remind you that one day the wait will be over!


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Although I was born in Serbia, graduated in Italy and have been living overseas for 14+ years, I'm very proud of my Hungarian heritage.
I love documenting my life adventures, trying out healthy recipes and herbal remedies, or going on family trips in our new home, Canada.

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